Movie Review: Instant Family

I went into the movie Instant Family with little to no expectations. I was very happy that they were finally doing a movie about foster care and adoption, but I had my doubts that they could squeeze such a complicated subject within two hours or less.

I have to say - I loved it. I cried several times. While you could make a full movie about each the subjects that were covered , I think they did an excellent job hitting on some of the key points of the foster care and adoption journey.

I was also afraid they would glamorize it too much for the sake of a happy story, or make it so horrible for comedy purposes that it would turn people off of foster care forever. I think they had a fair balance of things being difficult, but ultimately worthwhile.

They covered:

• Foster care orientation
• Foster care training
• Finding a placement
• Sibling sets
• Teens in foster care
• The honeymoon period
• Talking to your loved ones about expectations
• Bio parent visits
• Family court
• Childhood trauma
• Angry kiddos
• Reunification
• Visit/reunification no-show
• Adoption

And so much more!

Spoilers ahead:

One of the things that I loved was that there are several times in the movie where the parents, both the main couple and the ones in their support group, were discouraged and thought they could not do it anymore. "Our life just sucks now, we have to accept that." I laughed out loud at that line, because I will admit to feeling that way a time or two after a certain kiddo trashed the house and bit up my arms during a tantrum. But they kept going. And all those families were there on the adoption day at the end, still together despite all the challenges. The challenges made them stronger. 

I also loved that when the parents were alone in the house without the kids one night, they remarked how quiet and clean it was - and that they hated it. 

There were some moments that were over the top and unrealistic. There was a whole part where they went into the school to confront someone that was sexting their foster daughter, and they left the two little ones in the car by themselves. I mean, it happens, but foster parents are usually pretty vigilant about that sort of thing. And if it had happened like it did in the movie, with an arrest and everything, I doubt they would be allowed to have the kids back in their home. 

Another minor thing - the foster parent orientation and support group had a wide variety of different types of families, which I loved. But they left one out. I know it's not pertinent to the story, but about 75 percent of my foster parent orientation was comprised of grandparents who were getting trained so they could do kinship care for their grandchildren. Not a major deal, but it would be nice to see that represented. 

I loved, loved, loved the real pictures of adoptive families that they ran with the credits. It all made me cry like a baby.

I hope this is just the beginning of movies like this, maybe tackling foster care that doesn't end in adoption, stories about teens in group homes, movies about RAD, etc. And the ultimate should be that people watch a movie like this and decide to open their home to kids.